Oh How They Mourned!

Victorian Mourning
By Rosemary Connolly

NAI Certified Interpretive Guide (2014-05/28/2018)

Hardships endured by family members of Civil War soldiers

Audience Open to public

Date Time: Saturday May 26, 2018 afternoon

duration about 40 min
Location :
Playhouse on the Square
68 East Central Park Plaza
Jacksonville, Illinois 62650

Speaker introduction:

The Civil War left hundreds of thousands of wives and children to fend for themselves in a society that had stricter mourning protocols. In 1865, America had never before had to deal with death on such a massive scale. The whole nation was locked in a death grip and left with no other alternative than to endure the wretched melancholy that was agonizingly unrelenting. The advent of Memorial Day in 1868 and the solace proffered to Jacksonville families and others throughout the North and the South brought communities of mourners together on one day in particular offering some degree of comfort. Rose discusses, Widows weeds and mourning jewelry aside everyone was left to find their own way of dealing with the all-consuming sadness amid the tragic aftermath of the bloody Civil War.

Outline

1 Antebellum
~ The "Good Death"
~ Queen Victoria
~ home
~ Dress/attire
~ behavior

2 Funerals During the Civil War

3. Stone Symbols

4 Omens and Superstitions

5 Slave burials and African American Rituals

6 Myths or not?
~ Post Morten photography
~ Tear bottles
~ Burial direction
~ Coffin Alarms

Introduction

"They say you die twice. Once when you stop breathing and the second, a bit later on, when somebody mentions your name for the last time." - Bansky. To understand "how they mourned", we need to understand a little history of their customs and why it was so important to our ancestors to take the time to mourn. Death has no favorites with race, class or even the president of the United States.
There's an old medieval saying about the rich or the poor, we all "dance with death".

Victorians were very religious and spiritual and believed in the afterlife. They accepted death. Have you ever heard the saying "The only thing true in life is death and taxes"? Well the Victorians were well aware of this also. They faced this reality. Today it's like a taboo subject to discuss when a person is still living. We have funeral planners that shield us from part of the unpleasantness of death. On the other hand, we no longer hire "mutes" also known as "professional mourners" for funerals like they did.

Mourning is the process of grieving the death of a loved one. It's an indefinite period of time. In the mid-nineteenth century, middle- and upper-class Americans observed an elaborate set of rules that governed behavior following the death of a spouse or relative. The astronomical rate of death during the American Civil War (1861–1865) often hindered the proper protocol for the mourning process. This war transformed the ways in which individuals and communities responded to death, and heightened women's public role in mourning traditions.

The advent of the Civil War in the mid-1800s transformed the ways people in the North handled the death and mourning of loved ones. Because so many Union soldiers died during the war—and died far from home— the problems associated with properly laying the dead to rest and making sense of the unprecedented scale of human loss had a profound impact on our way of life.
[Although Connecticut was one of the smallest states in the Union, its size did not stop large numbers of men from enlisting in the Union army. The state mobilized 30 infantries (including 2 African American regiments), 5 arteries (both light and heavy), and 2 cavalries. In all, approximately 55,000 Connecticut men went off to war. Troops from the state fought in almost every major and minor battle of the Civil War, and casualties numbered in the thousands. Many more died in confederate prisons or were executed by the Confederacy.]

I'll discuss the traditions both before and after the war, some of the superstitions, slave burial rituals and a few myths that need to be cleared up.

1. Antebellum Mourning Traditions

~ The "Good Death"

Burial and commemoration ceremonies were intimately linked to Christian doctrines and the concept of a "good death", which demanded spiritual readiness and yielding to God's will.

Romance, sentiment, and strict moral conscience characterized much of expressive life in New England during the 19th century. Attitudes toward death and mourning practices were particularly important elements in this Victorian age. A central belief was the concept of a “good death,” that is, to die in the home, among family, and with a clear Christian conscience. Most importantly, not alone. For the dying, it was a time to give advice to family members, be absolved of sins, say goodbye, and peacefully transition to the hereafter. This time was equally important for the living; it allowed them to wake and mourn the deceased in the home with other family members

Mourning periods were regulated, mourning dress was dictated, and funeral and burial arrangements became more extravagant. Contemporary literature and the arts romanticized death, particularly the "lingering death" that enabled a sufferer the time needed for spiritual readiness for the next life. As immigration to other countries began to steadily increase from the middle of the 19th century, many migrants who sought a new life in the colonies faced the dreadful prospect of burial at sea. For immigrants to the colonies in the 19th century, the terrifying prospect of death and burial at sea contradicted Christian ideals of the "good death". Death aboard ship assured a watery grave - the antithesis of the ideal of the Christian burial. Burial at sea meant that there would be no grave at which loved ones could grieve; no lasting memorial to a life lived. Excerpts from diaries of survivors reveal the mental anguish that resulted from this form of disposal of human remains. This contrasted sharply with deathbed scenes that dominated burial rituals in Victorian England. The sights of dead bodies floating in the ocean made voyagers fearful, with no one wishing to share such a fate.
http://www.angelpig.net/victorian/mourning.html

American Civil War
Twice as many soldiers died of disease as battle wounds. And many were killed in ignoble fashion, kicked by mules, poisoned by bad whiskey — or shot while they were eating, sleeping or attending to personal hygiene, by [Union] sharpshooters dubbed “snakes in the grass” because of their green uniforms. These nonbattle deaths, a soldier said, had “all of the evils of the battlefield with none of its honors.”
Such carnage in the divided nation could not happen without a purpose, and so the mourners created a new cult of the “good death.” The tragic deaths of the Civil War and their meaning and treatment by both North and South are the subjects of “This Republic of Suffering: Death and the American Civil War” by Drew Gilpin Faust.

https://www.denverpost.com/2008/03/20/civil-wars-cult-of-the-good-death/

~ Queen Victoria

Prince Albert Mourning ring

The Victorian period from 1837-1901 was an age when customs and practices relating to death were enormously important. The Victorian treatment of death and dying has even been dubbed a "cult of death", evidenced by a profusion of icons and rituals that were contrived to express grief and to honor the recently departed.

By about 1855, cemeteries were moving from the church grounds to more general park-like burials.

Americans, though preoccupied with the onslaught of the Civil War, mirrored her image. They could relate to the Queen and her stoic and noble role, afterall, they too had loved ones to mourn with family and children left behind. The ritual of mourning was done out of respect for the lost loved one. Paying tribute to the dead became a way of life in Civil War America.

After her husband, Prince Albert, died in 1861, Queen Victoria set the century's Anglo-American standard by publicly mourning her husband until her own death in 1901, over 40 years. Following her lead (if not the length of her mourning period), both Americans and the British established elaborate and structured mourning customs, especially for women. Etiquette books recommended that mothers mourn a child for one year, a child mourn a parent for one year, and siblings mourn for six months.

We have worn particular clothing to mourn our dead all the way back to the 1600s," "But it was in the 1830s and 1840s that we saw mourning become an art form. There were many books written on the subject of how to mourn, what to wear, when to wear it. Of course, when Prince Albert died in 1861 and the Queen of England went into mourning, society on both sides of the ocean took on mourning with a vengeance. That same year, the American Civil War began and death on a massive scale touched communities and families North and South. Mourning became a central fact of wartime life. Formal black mourning clothes -- even items of underwear and accessories like gloves and handkerchiefs had to be black -- were a society-wide necessity. (1) Another source says underwear and handkerchiefs were white. (11)

"The Civil War resulted in approximately 600,000 casualties. In the state of Alabama alone, there were over 80,000 widows -- 80,000 women dressed for mourning as I am today,"

Widowers (men) mourned for only three months by wearing armbands, badges, or rosettes of black fabric. Widows, however, were expected to respect a minimum two and a half years in mourning. In the period immediately following the death of her husband, a wife embarked on heavy-mourning, in which she was compelled to wear only black clothing and to keep her face concealed with a black, crepe veil when she left her home. This was followed by full-mourning, during which she continued to don black garments and a veil, but lighter shades of lace and cuffs were allowed to adorn her outfit. The final stage, half-mourning, permitted the widow to wear solid-colored fabrics of lavender, gray, and some purples.
[This is not accurate, sorry. Although I have found a statement that says that 2nd and half mourning are not as firmly divided as in England, you use half mourning for certain relatives, not as a stage after full/deep mourning. It is NOT a third stage in any sense of the word. Also I have only one reference for length of mourning periods which is an 1833 reference: “The full mourning is worn for a father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, husband, wife, brother and sister. It is divided into three periods. For the first six weeks, we wear only woolen garments; in the six weeks following, we may wear silk, and the last three months mingle white with the black.
Celnart, Mme. The Gentleman and Lady’s Book of Politeness; Boston: Allen and Ticknor, 1833, pg. 210.“ “In the first three months for her husband, a woman wears only woolen garments; the six first weeks [sic], her head-dress and neck-kerchief are black crape or gauze; in the six following weeks, they are white crape or linen. The next six months, she dresses in black silk; in winter, gros de Naples; in summer, taffetas. Head dress, white crape. The last three months, she wears black and white, and the last six weeks, white only.”
Celnart, Mme. The Gentleman and Lady’s Book of Politeness; Boston: Allen and Ticknor, 1833, pp. 210, 211.
Florence Hartley in her etiquette books talks about various stages (she notes two within deep mourning!) but she does not state length of time, just how the dress and
accessories change.]

******Half mourning occurs at lunch!*********

After a specified period the crape could be removed - this was called "slighting the mourning." The color of cloth lightened as mourning went on, to grey, mauve, and white - called half-mourning. It was considered bad luck to keep mourning clothes - particularly crape - in the house after mourning ended.

~ home
We no longer have funerals in our homes and ritual bathing of the corpse that was traditionally done by the family. Not only did most people die in their homes, but most funerals were held in the homes of the deceased. Drapes and shutters were drawn and heavy black fabric called crepe was fastened to the doorknob or knocker. Mantels, picture frames and mirrors were also covered with crepe. The body was laid on display in a coffin in the parlor of the home. As news spread throughout the town, people would stop to view the body and bring food for the family. Hats would be removed. No loud talk or laughter. All animosities among those who attended the funeral should be forgotten.

The cortege: The master of ceremonies should precede the mourners to the carriages, see that the proper carriages are in attendance, assist the ladies to their place, and signal the drivers to pass forward as their carriages are filled. Should the attending physician be present, he will occupy the carriage immediately following the near relatives of the deceased.

The pall-bearers are selected from among the immediate friends of the deceased, and should be as near as possible of corresponding age, worth and intelligence.

After the funeral, residents quickly returned the house to normal, removed the crepe, and reopened the shutters and drapes.
https://classroom.synonym.com/funeral-services-in-the-1800s-12082543.html

Superstitions

In the 1800s, people took great care with mirrors. According to the article "A Lively Look at the History of Death" by Hoag Levins (1) on Historic Camden County, New Jersey website, people during the mid-19th century believed the next person to see the reflection of the deceased would die. If residents did not stop clocks in the house, they believed, it would bring bad luck. When bodies were taken from the house to the undertaker for embalming, it was traditional to carry them out feet first so they could not "look" into the house and beckon others to join them in death. [Coffins were screwed tightly, and people had a fear of being buried alive. Mary Lincoln wrote, “'I desire that my body shall remain for two days with the lid not screwed down,”.]

CARDS AND WRITING-PAPER:

Gentlemen or ladies in mourning use black-bordered cards and stationery for their social correspondence, until the period of mourning expires. The width of this border is a matter of taste. But if they write any letters upon business, they use plain white stationery.
http://19thcenturyartofmourning.com/19th_century_funeral__mourning%20cards.htm

MEMORIAL CARDS:

Sometimes the bereaved ones send memorial cards announcing their loss to friends. It is far less harrowing than to write, especially when one's circle of acquaintance is large. They should say very little.

~ Dress/attire
Mourning clothes were a family's outward display of their inner feelings.

Widows would wear Protective veil
"If I were to go out on the street in mourning in the 1860s, I would have covered my face with the veil. One reason is that it would shield the fact that I had been crying. You wouldn't see the tears of the mourner. But another of the superstitions they believed was that spirits of the departed would hover around those they loved. And if a passerby looked directly on the mourner's face, that spirit might attach itself to that person. So, the veil was a protection for the wearer as well as a protection for others."
http://historiccamdencounty.com/ccnews43.shtml
NOTE: not all veils signify mourning. I like mine to sun my eyes and shield from insects.
Funerals also served as a ritual allowing survivors to honor the deceased and express their grief in the presence of friends and the community.

"Mourning clothes were something you needed quickly when there was a death in your family, as a result, mourning garments became the first off-the-rack clothing you could buy. Remember, this was a time when most clothing was made at home."

"You could either go to a place that sold mourning clothes and buy them, or take everything you had to a merchant who would dye them all black. If you were poorer than that, you would put your own clothes in a large pot in your back yard and dye them black. The reason you did it outside was that black dye was very pungent smelling. The diary of one woman from Virginia in 1864 mentions that 'the entire town smells of the dye pots'. Unless you know about mourning customs you can't understand what that meant. Basically, everyone in that town was mourning and changing their clothing color for someone. They couldn't afford to buy new clothes and they couldn't afford to have clothes dyed by someone else. They were doing it themselves."

~ Behavior

ATTENDING PLACES OF AMUSEMENT:

Clothing was not all that demanded strictness during mourning; widows were also obliged to wear only appropriate jewelry (usually jet black or tokens containing a lock of the deceased hair). They were to avoid social functions. A person in deep mourning does not go into society, or receive or pay visits. Neither are they found at the theater or other public places of amusement for six months. Exception: unless it is a musical or concert. Formerly, a year's seclusion was demanded of a mourner; as also was the fashion of wearing purple, or "half-mourning" on leaving off deep black. There are some natures to whom this isolation long continued, would prove fatal. Such may be forgiven, if they indulge in innocent recreations a little earlier than custom believes compatible with genuine sorrow.

It is not in good taste to attend a funeral in gay colors. You are not expected to assume mourning, but nearly every one has a plain, dark suit that is less noticeable.

“During a month after the funeral, the female relatives of the deceased never leave home, unless to go to church, or to transact important business. They do not visit or dine from home for six weeks after the funeral.” Hervey, George Winfred. The Principles of Courtesy; New York: Harper and Brothers, 1852, pg. 154.

After the death of a parent, it's full mourning for one year. http://www.angelpig.net/victorian/mourning.html.
For great uncle or cousin:
It depends on how close you or your immediate family are with him. If you live together or if he is the head of the family, quite probably. If you have little contact, probably not. If you're personally close but he's not important to the rest of the family, you might choose to wear mourning in any case.

Godey's Magazine - Volume 95 - Page 353

There are many who do not believe in wearing mourning at all. Such have a right to refuse it — it concerns no one but themselves. On the other hand, much can be said in favor of the custom. A mourning dress is a protection against thoughtless or cruel inquiries. It is also in consonance with the feelings of the one bereaved, to whom brightness and merriment seem almost a mockery of the woe into which they have been plunged. With such, garments of mourning are "an outward sign of an inward sorrow," and they cling to them as the last token of respect and affection which they can pay the dead.

MEMENTO MORI (‘REMEMBER DEATH’)

is hair work, vulcanite (gutta percha) jewelry, CDV photos, Jet clothing trim, bonnets with veils, mourning hat pins, Jet beaded change purse and funeral announcement.

The Civil War

2. Customs for Funerals During War

As women's ability to observe strict mourning rituals of dress and appearance declined, the number of funerals they witnessed increased. Prior to the war, funerals tended to be private affairs situated firmly within the domestic sphere. But as the death toll rose, funerals became daily, public events in cities across the state. With men dying hundreds and thousands of miles away from home, strangers increasingly performed many of the rites associated with death. Rather than finding eternal rest in a family plot, most Civil War soldiers were buried on the fields where they had died. The war elite and middle-class women frequently tried to mitigate the impersonal and anonymous burials of soldiers by attending services, writing letters to soldiers' families, and placing flowers on military graves. The frequency with which women performed funeral rites for their nation's dead helps to explain the enormous popularity of the William D. Washington's painting The Burial of Latané (1864), which illustrated white women, slaves, and children performing the burial service of a cavalry officer killed during the Peninsula Campaign in 1862.

Funerals, which had been largely personal and private, took on a more political tone in the Confederate South during the Civil War. The funerals of two Virginia officers illustrate this point. Following the death of Confederate general Turner Ashby in June 1862, his corpse was transported to Charlottesville, where it lay in repose while hundreds of tearful visitors covered it with wreaths of laurel and roses. The next day an elaborate procession of his cavalry and two slaves, all dressed in black, accompanied his remains to the University of Virginia cemetery, a newly designated resting place for Confederate dead. The following year, Virginians mourned an even more popular Confederate leader, Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson. After lying in repose at the State Capitol in Richmond, his remains were moved to Lexington amid a military procession and eventually interred at Presbyterian Cemetery (later Stonewall Jackson Memorial Cemetery), not far from the Virginia Military Institute. Confederates throughout the South grieved for their general—often in very public and partisan ways. In occupied Winchester, for example, Union soldiers ripped a badge of mourning for Jackson from the dress of Winchester resident Julia Clark, commenting that it was an insult to their soldiers.

Such actions did not deter Confederate women from demonstrating patriotism for their nation. Funerals and resting places of common soldiers thus took on partisan meaning as Confederate cemeteries increasingly became sites of national mourning and pride. They would continue to hold such nationalistic meaning in the postwar years through the efforts of the Ladies' Memorial Associations, which took on the responsibility of identifying, transporting, and reburying the dead.
https://connecticuthistory.org/death-and-mourning-in-the-civil-war-era/

Funeral customs during the Civil War depended on a number of circumstances, including which side won the battle and which unit handled burial proceedings. In the midst of war, the military could not follow proper funeral procedures, but they still tried to give fallen comrades some semblance of a burial. They covered bodies with dirt or gave them a common grave. The losing side often had to leave the fate of their dead in the hands of the victors, who treated the opponent's deceased with disrespect and indifference. Soldiers tried to pin their names on their uniforms to avoid being buried anonymously; however, according to the Encyclopedia of Death and Dying, graves were marked only if time allowed.

3. Stone Symbols

The anguish and animosity of the Civil War was literally recorded in stone in some burial grounds.

Grave stones told us a personal story of the deceased.

Anchor – hope, steadfastness. See also ‘Faith, Hope and Charity’.

Angels – have many different meanings, mainly guidance and strength. An angel with sword is the Archangel Michael, while the Archangel Gabriel carries a horn. Weeping angels represent death and mourning. Cherubs are often used when representing children.

Antlers – strength.

Arrow – mortality. Love.

Bee – organization, efficiency, community spirit

Bells – friendship over confrontation. If a bell actually rings it may ward of evil spirits.

Birds claw – thinking/ praying for you.

Bones – mortality

Buckle – protection, authority, victory.

Butterfly – the soul. Also has religious meaning; life (caterpillar), death (chrysalis), rebirth or resurrection (butterfly).

Candle – leadership. Light.

Catherine wheel – Christian faith through trials and negative situations.

Clasped hands – friendship.

Coral – protection from evil, especially when worn by children

Crescent – many meanings incl: Female spirituality, Moon Goddess. Glory.

Crocodile – connecting with Mother Earth

Cross – religion. Christian faith.

Crow – protection of friends. Crown – Sovereign. Authority. Victory.

Crown on heart – ruler of my heart.

Curtains – death, sorrow and mourning

Dagger – honor. Justice.

Dogs – loyalty.

Dove – peace. Christian faith, Holy Spirit. Sometimes has an olive sprig in its beak meaning hope.

Eagle – noble. Strength. Wisdom. Courage. Power.

Eye – protection.

Faith, Hope and Charity – symbolized by an anchor, heart and cross.

Feathers – obedience.

Fish – unity with Christ. Christian faith. Generosity.

Flowers –

Flying birds – the soul.

Gate – journey to the another life.

Griffin – bravery. Vigilance.

Gemstones – the colors used in colored gemstone jewellery often spells out words, for example REGARDS ( Ruby, Emerald, Garnet, Amethyst, Ruby, and Diamond).

Hammer – honor.

Hand – friendship. Sweetheart. Loved one (male).

Harp – heavenly worship. Also used to represent Ireland. A bridge between heaven and earth.

Heart – love, passion, charity. A crown on the heart symbolizes “ruler of my heart”. A flaming heart means “passionate love”.

Horseshoe – good luck. Protection from evil spirits.

Keys – guardian. Authority. To enter heaven or your heart.

Lamb – Christ. Innocence, especially regarding children.

Laurel leaves – triumph. Peace.

Lightening – power.

Lizard – surviving love (lizards were once believed to be fire-proof!)

Moon – death and rebirth. See also crescent.

Owl – vigilance. Wisdom.

Opal – this gemstone symbolizes hope.

Peacock – immortal. Beauty. Knowledge.

Pearls – teardrops

Phoenix – to rise again. Re-birth.

Rainbow – positivity after bad times.

Rod – to comfort in time of need. Guidance.

Scallop – rebirth. Travel.

Shield – to defend.

Skull – death. Mortality.

Snail – to persevere.

Snake – everlasting love. Wisdom.

Spider – wisdom. Hard work recognized. Prudent.

Stag – harmony. Will fight if needed. Honor.

Star – spirit. Guidance

Swallow bird – return home safe and well

Sword – honor and protect. Crossed swords may indicate death on the battlefield.

Sun – power. Glory. Life giving. Male God.

Trident – has deep meanings with the sea. Power. Protection.

Trumpet – celebration. Ready for victory.

Unicorn – courage. Inner strength and dignity.

Urn – mourning. Death, particularly an older adults.

Dictionary of symbols & meanings of antique, vintage & Victorian jewellery

http://www.graveaddiction.com/symbol.html

So Victorians wanted a personal and unique send off and today we see the same with unique Vists to graveyards.

4. Omens and Superstitions

It is bad luck to meet a funeral procession head on. If you see one approaching, turn around. If this is unavoidable, hold on to a button until the funeral cortege passes.
https://friendsofoakgrovecemetery.org/victorian-funeral-customs-fears-and-superstitions/
Never wear new shoes to a funeral
Never place shoes on a bed or there will be a death in the house
If several deaths have occurred in a family, place black ribbons on all remaining members and animals living in the home to protect from death spreading.
Ringing in the left ear means a death will take place that day.
A bird getting into a house means a death in the family.
Death comes in threes.
To dream of a horse signifies death.
Crossed knives on a dinner table foretell a death.
Seeing an owl in the day or a cow mooing after midnight foretells death.

Covered mirrors
Keeping mirrors covered in a house that has a corpse. The dead can get "caught" in the mirror and will not be able to cross over.

"The Victorians had a lot of superstitions associated with death. When there was a corpse

in the house you had to cover all the mirrors, And if a mirror in your house was to fall and break by itself, it meant that someone in the home would die soon. When someone died in the house and there was a clock in the room, you had to stop the clock at the death hour or the family of the household would have bad luck. When the body was taken from the house, it had to be carried out feet first because if it was carried out head first, it could look back and beckon others to follow it into death."

A tree blooming out of season means the death of a young one.
Open windows and unlock doors at the time of death so that a spirit can pass out.
If a woman is buried in black, she will haunt those who waked her.
Do not leave a broom leaning on a bed or the person who sleeps there will die within a year.
A black crow in your path means a death will take place.
It is bad luck for a pregnant woman to attend a funeral.
A clap of thunder after a funeral means the dead reached Heaven.
A corpse should never be carried out of the last door that he or she entered.

Honey formed an important part of the midnight repast in the death chamber, a curious superstition existed. A little fly was thought to appear on the lips of the corpse, from whence it would presently go to the jar of honey, from which it would take its fill. The fly was none other than the soul of the departed, fortifying itself before taking its long journey into the distant spirit-world.
https://nourishingdeath.wordpress.com/2013/09/17/sweet-sweet-death-honey-in-death-rituals/amp/

Another curious and widespread concern in the nineteenth century was the fear of being buried alive. "This was a superstition that so permeated society that even Mary Lincoln, a relatively well-to-do, well-educated woman, shared in her final instructions her fear of this. She wrote, 'I desire that my body shall remain for two days with the lid not screwed down.'"
https://classroom.synonym.com/funeral-services-in-the-1800s-12082543.html

5. Slave burials and African American Rituals

African American Slaves

When slaves were brought over from Africa, many traditions followed them, including their funeral and burial customs.

Just as Victorian mourning traditions carried over from the Europe. Black Freedmen and slaves in antebellum America brought to the colonies against their will, dealt with death in very different ways.   Black Americans came from African continent, Haiti, and Caribbean. They practice customs from their homelands. Later their customs merged with Christianity.
According to the African American Registry, slaves in the 1800s often placed items that belonged to the deceased upon their grave. These items may have included cooking utensils, vases, toothbrushes or marbles.
African American slaves also drove pipes into the ground to serve as speaking tubes, which allowed the living to communicate with the deceased. Burial customs of slaves varied depending upon where they lived in the United States and where they were from in Africa.
https://classroom.synonym.com/funeral-services-in-the-1800s-12082543.html
White slave owners encouraged or forced slaves to participate in Christian services. They still maintained their unique traditions. Blacks dealt with death realistically and as a community. The rituals were based on a time to rejoice because the soul was free and had no more trials to deal with.
Slaves found death a time to socialize and share as a community. Funerals were one of the few events in slave life in which plantation owners did not interfere. Funerals usually lasted a full day and into the night and preceded by a "wake"or "seetin' up". It was a time to gather with singing, praying and food. Blacks that were involved in helping the underground railroad or teaching others to read, were eulogized and applauded in death.

Bodies were prepared by being washed and dressed and wrapped in a blanket and placed in a wooden box. Coins were usually placed on the eyes to pay the toll or cross over or to provide money on the other side.   Sometimes the coin was placed in the hand.
http://www.thebody.com/content/art12211.html

Personal goods like food pottery shells jewelry and clothing would be placed with them. Pottery and useful objects were deliberately broken so the living could not use them   Slave cemeteries were usually at the back of the plantations or "potters fields". Graves would be marked with a wooden boards, crosses or large pieces of quartz (an African tradition). Cairns or burial mounds on hillsides have been found near Christian burial places.   Mounds were more commonly used in Ghana and Jamaica by slaves in the late 18th century.

Some slaves believe that the spirits of the dead were restless and lingered for a time with the living. To keep them calm, a proper funeral with personal goods was expected lest they haunt the living.

White was the symbol of mourning. Black women would be dressed in white and sometimes a white turban. White shells on graves was a Central Congo traditional belief that the realm of the dead was under the ocean known as bakulu. White shells and pebbles would line the boundaries of the dead. The practice imitates an old African American saying, "By the sea we came, by the sea we shall go."

After the Civil War, spiritual hymns emerged and funerals extended from on day to 2-5 days. Many old traditions remained but ornamental plants were added to graves to cultivate the spirit. items left on a grave included pipes driven into the burial mounds known a s speaking tubes; statues of chickens symbolized sacrifices. Mirrors placed in cemeteries were to catch the spirit and hold it in the cemetery.

6. Myths or not?

~ lachrymatory (tear bottle)

http://www.lachrymatory.com/History.htm

Debunking the Myth of 19th-Century ‘Tear Catchers’ It’s hard to keep a good story down when there’s money to be made. mourning artifacts are in high demand. Vintage tear catchers, also called “lachrymatory bottles,” can be found in online auctions and marketplaces, as well as through estate sales and antique stores. During the 19th century, and especially in America during and after the Civil War, supposedly, tear catchers were used as a measure of grieving time. Once the tears cried into them had evaporated, the mourning period was over. It’s a good story—too good. In truth, both science and history agree, there’s really no such thing as a tear catcher.
The myth likely began with archaeologists and an oddly chosen term. Small glass bottles were often found in Greek and Roman tombs, and “early scholars romantically dubbed lachrymatories or tear bottles,” writes Grace Elizabeth Arnone Hummel, who runs the perfume website Cleopatra’s Boudoir.

Did People Really Put Their Tears In Bottles During The Victorian Era?

It’s a beautiful idea but no one really cried into the bottles. http://www.bizarrejournal.com/2017/05/setting-record-straight-about-atlas.html

http://beauty4ashes7.blogspot.com/2013/11/all-hallows-eve-in-1863-mourning.html
However, this book online contradicts the rumor.
https://books.google.com/books?id=b0MAAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA147&dq=bottle%20tears&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj0k6_op7rcAhVL2lMKHVOZCPA4ChDoAQhHMAY#v=onepage&q=bottle%20tears&f=false

Letter-book of Samuel Sewall

https://books.google.com/books?id=hhPVAAAAMAAJ&pg=PA70&dq=vial%20of%20tears&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjIx8WP1rrcAhUCn-AKHUTpDXYQ6AEIMjAC#v=onepage&q=vial%20of%20tears&f=false

~ Post Mortem photography
Images of this kind have continued to be taken through the twenty-first century, though they are not openly viewed or discussed as in the nineteenth century.
Sure this was a practice for a last memory of the deceased but not all stiff photos are of the dead. The obvious photos were taken in the coffin or a bed. Natural poses were often taken but these photos that are disputed are those posed with eyes open as if a living memorial card.
We are obsessed with oddities, many old photos are labeled Post mortem erroneously. Some are living in the photo but appear very still because of the stand that kept the person still during slow shutter speeds. This is evident when you see family portraits with an unclear child that moved. So be cautious when something is post mortem.
Thanatos Archive

These stands would not have held the weight of a dead body.
I think if a person isn't sure of the authenticity of a photo then it's best not to share. It perpetuates myths and misinformation.
YouTube video Momento-Mori; What Was It and Why Was It Done?

Also, technology to superimpose other people in photos was available at this time. Hence the superstition of ghost images in photos.

~ Grave Cage

The photo above is presumably authentic — structures like this really exist — but the caption is entirely false. The photo was taken in England. The wrought-iron "cage" covering the grave site is actually known as a mortsafe. Mortsafes were invented in the early 1800s to keep grave robbers out, not the "undead" in. This prompted the Anatomy Act of 1832 in England.
https://www.thoughtco.com/picture-of-a-grave-cage-3299498

~ Burial direction
you might find that someone buried the opposite way is actually a minister. Many church graveyards were laid out east-west, with the head at the western end of the grave, to be facing the risen Christ on Judgment Day. But the minister was sometimes buried with his head at the eastern end of his grave so he'd be facing his flock at the time of Resurrection."

In many cemeteries, the bodies are buried with their feet facing the entrance to the cemetery, to symbolize that they will leave the cemetery at the time of the resurrection of the dead.
https://christianity.stackexchange.com/questions/5160/why-are-people-traditionally-buried-facing-east

~ Coffin Alarms

A coffin alarm was a bell attached to the headstone with a chain that led down into the coffin to a ring that went around the finger of the deceased. So, if you were to wake up and find yourself accidentally buried, you could pull on the chain and ring the bell in the cemetery yard.
A coffin alarm was a bell attached to the headstone with a chain that led down into the coffin to a ring that went around the finger of the deceased. So, if you were to wake up and find yourself accidentally buried, you could pull on the chain and ring the bell in the cemetery yard.

Closure:

•Pre civil War

•Customs

•Homes

•Attire

•Myths

What is morbid?
Something they did back then would be considered morbid today. Today we have been sheltered from morbidity with intermediaries that have careers in life and death. We have been sheltered from such things as home visitations and digging our own graves for kin. We have laws against digs but there weren't always laws against grave robbing.

Customs have changed from the Antebellum period through the Civil War. Some changes were practical and necessary considering the enormous amount of deaths and the speed of time needed to recover and move on.

The Victorians were such ingenious people. What you see is the staircase at Lock and Co. Hatters, on St James's Street. The building dates back to 1686, when it was a coffee shop run by George Lock.
The Victorian Staircase Designed For Death

http://londonist.com/london/features/the-victorians-were-so-obsessed-with-death-they-designed-their-staircases-with-it-in-mind